My story

Yes – this is me! This is how positive, happy, full of life and genuinely passionate about existence I am.

But it is also only one side of the story. There are many more. For instance I am a very down to earth kind of person too. And realistic. And competent, clever, persistent, gifted, smart and hard working. I am good at setting goals, working towards them, following through, listening to others, believing in others, asking for help (well pretty good anyway ...) and sort of never giving up. 

But being all that and still not being even near what I thought I was capable of was frustrating beyond measure, and even worse; no matter how much I visualized, how much self-development-stuff I undertook, how much shit I discharged or how great goals I set up it was like life was constantly hitting me in my head – hard – time after time. It was so difficult in the end that all I did was just trying to survive on a daily basis. 

Since this is the “prologue” I am not going to go into details. (Those will come later.) But I really thought something was genuinely wrong with me. That I was doing something f u n d a m e n t a l l y wrong. Two years ago I was so hit to the ground that without the support of my brother it is possible that I wouldn’t be writing this today. 

However, in the midst of that darkness, I read Rebecca Campbell’s book “Letters to a starseed” where she describes different kinds of starseed roles we have taken on for our journey here on earth. She writes about the Activator, the Artist, the Healer, the Challanger, the Visionary and so on and when I came to the Alchemist I just burst into tears – it was like I saw what my soul had taken on and then I understood things much better!

“The Alchemist alchemizes their own sufferings into gold. Because they’ve gone to the depths, walked through the fire, and returned to tell the story, they have a capacity to hold people in deep compassion and guide them to do the same. Because the alchemist must first journey to the depths and walk through the fire, they’ll likely go through a very difficult period in their life in order to do that. This is like a death and a rebirth in order to return with the gold of their gift.”  

I wasn’t stupid! I wasn’t wrong as a person. I had just been “fulfilling my purpose”. I had gone through hell to be able to help others! Turning those terrible experiences into an opposite power of love and compassion and bringing that into the world!

That made everything finally making some sense!*) And I am now starting a new chapter in my life! 

To be continued ...

*) No one knows “the meaning of life”. Not in the sense that it can be proven. So I go for the statement: "Choose the interpretation that empowers you the most." Thinking of myself as an Alchemist who has gone through “hell” and therefore is able to bring more love and compassion to others, is empowering to me. So I choose that! ;-)